Well, I'm still living. Barely. I hate making this site into a whine, whine, whine site about girlfriends and whatnot, but right now I just can't help myself. I really should just go to bed because I have an early class tomorrow and Thursdays are the crappiest days of the week for me 'cause my last class is 3.5 hours long and doesn't get done until 9:30 at night...and that really sucks....but I need to vent.

So other than a very, very brief conversation with the 2YG late last night, I haven't really talked to her since Monday...and that was pretty much a one-sided conversation on my part. And so this week has gone by really slow without having her at my side. Part of me just wants her to make a decision whether for the good or bad so that my life can at least start going back to normal....even if it's a time to heal, rather than being with her. On the other hand, as long as we're in this weird inbetween point, there's still hope of a future with her.

I talked with her best friend in our little on-campus coffee shop tonight while I was supposed to be working in the library (it's connected to the library so it wasn't like I was a long ways away....plus, I was getting a glass of water!) and he said that the 2YG is going up to MN this weekend to visit one of her old roommates and to think about stuff....because it's understandably difficult to sort her thoughts on a campus as small as Wartburg's.

I guess that's a good thing for her...but I know that means three things for me. Number 1, I'm going to get absolutely wasted Friday night. Number 2, I'm going to turn off my cell phone at about 3 on Friday and put it in my desk drawer so the temptation is gone to drunk dial the 2YG, 'cause that could be disasterous right now. And number 3, I'm going to go to the gas station and get a pack of smokes for the first time since mid-september. I know I shouldn't...and I've done so well since I've gotten more serious with the 2YG, but I'm still going to. It's a crutch when things aren't going so well, yes, but gosh dangit....I'm going to use that crutch. Hate me if you want....but I gotta do what I gotta do.

In other news....I want to submit one of my short stories to a magazine but I don't know what magazines accept short stories anymore....much less how to go about doing it. I don't suppose any of you have any ideas, do you?

Yup....I do have to get up in like 6 hours, so I'm going to play a game for a while and then go to bed....maybe....if I stop thinking about the 2YG....maybe I'll write a poem......

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. My life has really gone to the pooper. The 2YG and I broke up on Sunday night and ever since I've been down in the dumps. She's thinking things over and I'm waiting for her decision. I really want to get back together and I'm extremely hopeful, but I don't know. I hate not knowing what's going on between us.

My first column got published this week. I heard some good comments, though not as many as I used to. Probably because I've been holed up in my room all week and probably because it's not as a hard-hitting topic as my columns during the Fall Term. You can read it here, though. My next one should be decent. I was really struggling again to come up with an idea...especially with the break-up and then a shorter deadline turn-around. But then today I went to a convocation (like a guest speaker-type deal) about the 1st Ammendment and I was inspired...even though I was determined not to write on that topic.