So I'm taking Modern English Grammars right now. It's kind of part of my major, but not really. I have several courses that I have to take, and then there's a list of about 10 courses from which I choose 3 that I have to take. Well, including Grammars, by the time I graduate I'll have taken 5 of those courses. So really, I don't need Grammars to graduate....but I thought it'd look good on a resume and it'd probably help my writing and editing.

Yeah. That was when I actually thought I'd understand the stuff.

It's amazing. I'm absolutely a sinking ship right now. Thursday night and Friday morning combined I studied for about 4 hours for one stinking quiz. One quiz. You know what I got on that quiz? A 60%. I tied with two other girls for the lowest grade in the class. The average grade was an 85%. Hmmmm....yup.

Now part of the problem with Grammars is that you learn one thing and if you don't understand it, you're screwed because everything else in the class is built upon it. Kind of like math. Except with math, the rules are pretty much absolute and if you follow them you'll always get the right answer. Not so with the English language. There are rules, of course, but pretty much everything is on a sentence to sentence basis. So anyway, I didn't learn one thing correctly and I've been falling fast.

It could have been because I didn't work very hard early on and dug myself a hole. That's why I'm going to spend a good portion of tomorrow in the library working on it. And then I'll return Sunday as well. But if I don't do well on the two quiz re-takes (one I'm retaking for the second time) then I think I'm going to have to seriously start thinking about going the Pass/Fail route. And that's a bummer. But...I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.

Sorry....I guess I was a little vague when I said "I'm going to cross the line." It's in reference to the short story I'm working on, which is now crossing the line from somewhat disturbing, to possibly horror. The scene in which the main character killed his ex was really short because I wasn't sure if I should describe it. But other writers have told me that it's not enough the way it is right now. Sooo....it's time to get gory. It's time to make you cringe. But to do that without mentioning blood or brain matter or gore. I'm still implying it all, but there needs to be more vivid imagery. That's how I'm crossing the line.
Peace....
C. Maurice Helland

The Wartburg Writer's Circle has spoken. They want more. If I'm going to cross the line, I have to go all the way. So I'm going to. It's times like this that I seriously think about using my middle name as my pen name. C. Maurice Helland has different connotations to the reader than Corey Helland does.

I had a short, short story idea come to me this afternoon right when I woke up from a nap. It's not even a story, really. It's like a snippet of someone's thought process right before he kills his ex-girlfriend and then himself. The original idea was writting out the thoughts of a suicidal man...then it drifted to why the man was depressed...and then it drifted to him asking someone to marrying him, getting denied, sinking into depression, inviting the girl over, and then killing her and himself....only not in so many words. In fact, I never used the words gun, trigger, kill, marriage, propose, shoot, bullet, or cartridge. I implied them, though.

At any rate, it was the first thing in a while that was actually uncomfortable for me to write. I felt like I had to, but I was a little worried at how I would depict the scenes without making people sick. But I think it's pretty good. Needs some work, obviously, but it should be ready in a week or so to submit to the campus literary magazine.

Alrighty! I finally got the hook-up on pics...even pics from Denver, but I won't post those now. I have a couple from last night's party and then some from the football game this weekend. Enjoy!


Roommate and I pimping, Denver girl...ummm...


Woah...what's she doing down there?!?

And now some Wartburg - Luther highlights:

Tailgating, Wartburger style.


Chillin in the car during half-time. Clockwise from bottom left: roommate, me, roommate in the far back, roommate, Denver girl, CC runner in the middle.


About a half-hour later. Got a little steamy, don't you think?


Is it just me, or does that guy look like a sniper? Wartburg fans aren't that rowdy!

And those are the pics. There are more...but I probably shouldn't post them online. hehehehe....anyway, yeah. I guess that's it for now. Peace.

Ok, tonight the Denver girl turned 22 and it was a pretty good time. She had a Pimps and Ho's party....except not alot of people attended. I wore my best suite and shirt and tie and came as a coporate pimp. Apparently I was a big hit....ya know how it goes. Anyway, the Denver girl has a video camera and wanted some video of her party, so I pretty much operated the camera throughout the party. And that was a good thing and a bad thing. Some of the time I had some good innuendo and commentary with the video....other times you just kinda worried where I was going. Oh well. It was a good time. hahahaha!

Anyway.....yeah....it was a good night. And now I have to go to bed because I have a scholarship luncheon tomorrow at 11 or so. Peace!

I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. Maybe I needed a night where I couldn't sleep. The problem that is before me is what to do when I graduate. Maybe I want to use my major, but maybe I don't. I'm not sure. But tonight I had somewhat of an epiphany.

My uncle is an editor for a paper in Wisconsin. Hmmm....can you you think of any way that could help me? I'm not talking about getting hired there...but maybe I could do a summer internship with them. Maybe helping out as a copy editor...or maybe working with my uncle.

Maybe I could do what my cousin did this summer and stay at their house. If I could get my hands on a laptop, their place is the perfect place to create. They live way out in the country, on a dirt road. I picture myself throwing the laptop in a backpack along with a lunch, and riding my bike out to some field and sitting under a tree all day, just typing. Daydreaming. Getting lost in my thoughts. And then working the night shift with my uncle.

It'd be just like I've always wanted. No distractions. It's probably a little early to do it now, and I should run it past my folks first....but I think that's a pretty good lead for something to do this summer.

Wartburg - Luther rivalry. We've beat them 17 of the last 18 times. We haven't lost to Luther for 13 years. Guess what happened today. Yeah. Sucky.

Other than losing a game we should've won, it was a decent day. Oh yeah, and other than it pouring the whole time. That sucked as well.

We got to Luther at about noon and it was pouring way hard. None of us really thought the game was going to happen, because it was lightening as well. So what to do? Crack open some beers. But then the rain did let up, and it was "game on." Except...the rain really didn't let up and a few of us spent the end of the first quarter, the second quarter, and the first part of the third sitting in the car drinking. Good stuff.

We have some pretty good pics that I'll try to share, though I seem to be saying that a lot lately with not much success. After the game, I was way tired and took like a 3 hour nap, only to be woken up in order to go to a party. Which sucked. So I came back to the room, only to be called up literally 5 minutes later and be dragged to the bar.

It probably was good that I went, though, because the girl that dragged me there needed a babysitter. It was fun though, I guess. It was a situation that probably only was ok because I was sober.

The one of the girls I went with was in Denver with me, and the other one had visited the girl for a week. And when she was out there we had gone out every night and had an absolute blast. Especially at the Gay dance clubs. And you know why those were so much fun? Because I obviously wasn't trying to impress anybody or pick somebody up....and they weren't trying to impress anybody or pick somebody up....so we all just let loose and had a wacky-fun time. And that's kind of what tonight was for a while. We got there before most of the bar folk got there, so we had some fun on the dance floor. Pretty much my goal was to be as fun as possible....and I got a lot of good reactions.

But then a ton of people got there and it was back to the same 'ol B.S. and I didn't want to deal with all of that. Plus, I was sick of being the purse-holder. But that tends to be my role with those two girls. They like going out with me because I'm not going to try and get on them when they're drunk...and they know I'll watch out for them as well. Oh well. Whatever.

Alrighty then....time for bed....maybe....