Man, after having a week or so of just absolute crap, my life has turned around. I still am struggling with who I am with some friendships, but others have been cleared up. And with just one good talk, my life was made better. Amazing how life works like that. In fact, if I didn't have this paper that's worth 40% of my grade due by tomorrow afternoon hanging over my head, I'd be pretty happy right now. Good thing I finished up my normal homework for tomorrow last night....so I can just concentrate on the paper. I'm not too worried....after all -- this is what I do.
I'm not gonna lie, though. I'm a little bummed that my best friend is going to be gone for the next few days. Again, if I wasn't so stressed out with homework and such, I'd be more sad. Luckily, I don't really have any time to sit and talk or, God forbid, have fun. And then I'll get to see her on Saturday again.....because yes, the trombone quartet (actually it's going to be 3 trombones and 1 tuba) is going to go play at a church in The-Middle-of-Nowhere Iowa. Because that, apparently, is what we do. But yeah....it'll actually be mildly fun. Anyway, this was a really bad post. If I would've been smart and taken an easy class this May Term, I could've been posting about my drinking events every night. Alas, I'm taking the academic route and actually learning something. Curse me.

Just as a precurser, sorry about no posts....I didn't bring my computer back to Wartburg because there was supposed to be one left in the room...but the kid decided to bring it home. So now I have to go to the library to post. And I hate posting at the library. So heres the quick run-down of the week:
I have class 3 hours everyday and I hate it. Sometimes we get to read stuff that I actually enjoy and I feel that it makes me smarter....but the majority of the class is me spacing out because I just don't care. On Friday we had our first test and I'll be lucky if I get a C. The first 30 points I did pretty well on, but then we had 4 essay questions that made up the last 70 points....and I looked at the first question and realized I had no idea what the answer was, so I skipped it and went to the second question, only to see that I didn't know the answer to that one either. The final essay had 3 parts and I really could only answer 2....so really, I'm screwed. But it's because the Prof. put more emphasis on the Feminist Theories than I thought she would...since the class is supposed to be a literature course, I naturally assumed we would learning about literature, not Feminism 101. Boy was I wrong.
Friday I got a 30 of Keystone and was ready to drink my cares away....but there wasn't much going on....even though I walked to a house party and went to the bar, I still went to bed like at 12:30. I think it was probably because I want to hang out with Meredith, but couldn't. Then yesterday I literally did nothing all day. It wasn't until I watched a movie at 11pm that anything worthwhile happened. Now here i am at the library, trying to do some homework....and I think I slept on my right arm wrong because it hurts to type.

A lot of people who have done the Wartburg West program in Denver say it's hard to make the switch back to being on campus. At first I didn't think it was true, but now I definitely see where I have problems. I got so used to being independent and on my own that now when I'm back around all of my friends out here, I don't know how to act....especially around my best friend. It's an odd problem to have, but it's one none-the-less. To others it probably seems like I'm in a bad mood or something, but really it's that I don't know what my role on campus is anymore....or that I don't know who I am. Certain relationships among friends and roommates changed while I was gone and now I don't know what to do. Obviously, some situations are more difficult than others...especially when I can't talk about them. Anyway.....I dunno where I was going with that....sorry.....I should do some reading. peace.