well then.....this day was sooooo absolutly horrid.....wow. Last night there were far too many drunk guys in my hallway. Then, a bunch of intoxicated girls I know from band tried to sneak in our room and saran wrap me to my bed. Yeah...I woke up right away and was pissed that they woke me up. That wouldn't have been so bad, but they came back at 2a.m. and tried it again...and I woke up again and was even more pissed off. So then I couldn't fall asleep again until about 3:30 and I had to be up and in Luther Hall by 7a.m. to practice with my "french girl" for the oral exam we had today. So I got no sleep again.....and felt really run-down and sick in the morning. Needless to say, I left halfway through my 7:35 class and went back to my room and slept. THEN I had a final in my Oral Com. Class....and came back to my room to sleep again...and then called in sick for work at 1....and slept again....then I had to get up and go to my trombone lesson at 2, which I totally sucked up and frustrated myself because it was the last lesson of the year and I wanted to to well....and then I had my French Oral Exam. Wowzas...i must say, if I didn't have such an awesome partner, I would have crashed and burned big time. I still kinda crashed and burned, but she saved me many a time. We had to hold two 5 minute conversations in French. Many of you may say meh, whats 10 minutes of talking? Yea...BUT IT"S ALL IN FRENCH! And we got Le Passe, which meant we had to do everything in past tense, and we also got Le Repas, which meant we talked about eating stuff. Le Repas we were all good, but then I was dying in Le Passe. My partner was doin all she could to save me, like finishing my sentances and questions and such......as I said after we finished, I kept falling out of the airplane and she continuously dove out after me and gave me a parachute. She'll probably get 90 or above....If I get in the 80s I'll be happy. So that was good to get that done......but then I had to work for somebody tonight and worked a stupid 6-8 shift and I forgot my homework in my room, so I was in a state of complete boredom.......puke! So now, I'm sitting in my room relaxing, with all of the lights off, and Pink Floyd (Dark Side of the Moon) calming me back down........whew.....sooo soothing.....except for the "Money" song, which I don't like...but what are you gonna do? K, I'm gonna do something else now. Latah

yea this pretty much sucks. it's after 8 and i'm just NOW eatin supper. Due to 3 hours of sleep last night, and no naps today...i decided to skip supper and take about an hour nap before I had work. I survived work by eating two lil bags of funyons and some 'dew....now I'm sitting at a stupid mac at the library, waiting for my french partner to come so we can finish workin on our oral test. Needless to say, I'm waaaay tired and a little cranky. Oh well.....hmmm....i'm pretty bored too. It stinks because these computers have only MSN messanger, not AIM...so I can't even chat with people. Not only that, but all the P.C.'s are taken, so I have to use a mac....which basically suck. Next year they are replacing all the library's macs with P.C.'s because nobody uses them unless the P.C.'s are all taken. You know what this meal reminds me of? Ghetto Bowler, you remember that choir deal we had senior year at the convention center and you and I spent our whole lunch hour looking in a record store? Then we had to grab some crap at a starbucks as we hustled back and barely made the bus.....yea....i'm having crap like that for supper tonight.....There has been few days at college where I've had to skip meals....that has been nice compared to workin at good 'ol Snyder Drug. I remember waaay back in the day we had this "meal" called "The Poor Man's Meal" We used to be able to get Cherry Coke for 55 cents with our discount, that plus two packages of those crackers and cheese (or peanut butter) made up the meal, all for under $1. And you wonder why I'm sooo skinny! Yikes! Aiight, I'm gonna check my email or somethin. Latah

I gotta get this down while it is still fresh. About 5 minutes ago I was alseep and having a great dream. It was about Chad, my friend that died when I was in 9th grade. It wasn't one of my reaccuring dreams about him, either. This one was new. Something about us being in college together.....he worked at the caf and I would see him in the line everyday. The weird thing was, though, in my dream I acknowledged that he had already died because I commented about how I was seeing him as a 7th or 8th grader, not the 10th grader he was when I last saw him. Normally in my dreams about him, he either: A. Doesn't talk, but helps me out in someway, B. Is just a random person that I realize is him after I wake up. C. Has come back from being away somewhere, and we hang out all day. D. He is really sick and I know that in the dream, it will be the last time I will see him. I've had different variations of these 4 kinds of dreams, but they're pretty much all the same. This dream, though, was completely different. I think, maybe I am missing him right now and my subconscious is thinking about all the fun we would be having in college. Right before I moved to Lakeville, Chad and I were still reallly good friends, but we were kind of moving in different directions. It was different than when we were younger. I think that once we would've gotten to this point in our lives, we would have met in the middle. Chad being at the end of his second year in college and I at the end of my first....I think we would've seen eye-to-eye on a lot of issues that troubled us before. I kinda feel bad that I disagreed with him on some stuff back in the day....and now I don't necessarily disagree with his thoughts......like I could've put all that crap aside and we could've been a little closer the last 3 years leading up to his 10th grade year.
Another thing that kind of bums me out....and it has saddened me less since I got to college, but it still hurts me every time I think about it. When I was in Eric's, my brother, wedding I got to thinking: "who would be MY best man." Disregarding picking a brother, because thats what Matthew, my other brother, did when he picked me. I think matthew could've picked a friend for the spot, but thought I would work better for the role. Anyway, I was trying to think of a friend that I would chose. I realized that I really didn't have one. Chad was one of those life-long friends that can never be replaced....I mean we were best friends ever since I was like in 1st grade. I had good friends at LHS...but we never really hung out because I was kind of a loner in that way....and back in Rockford, I had tons of friends because the school was so dang small, but none of them were really close. So here I had ONE TRUE FRIEND. One that would take the fall for so many things.....things that I care not to write here....things that it hurts me to think I let him get in trouble for and I got off totally free.....things that I never thanked him for.......things that I wish I could've done for him, but I was too worried about myself to think about him.......this one true friend.....gone........................sorry.......I'm done.....I had to write that done though, sorry if thats super depressing.....

I am soooo awake right now.....it kinda sucks. I know I'll be hurtin tomorrow morning, especially since we are doing relaxation techniques......but I understand why I'm so awake right now...I mean, I had 24 ounces of 'Dew tonight, plus, I did't get up from bed untill 4 pm today....there was, actually, a brief period between 11 and about 12:30 where I was awake, but that was a rough 1.5 hours and so I went back to bed. Sleeping was just a better thing to do than stay awake. So tomorrow I will only have 2 classes again because I didn't get a draft done for a research paper, so I must skip that class......I shouldn't, but I have no other choice. At least it will give me a chance to make up for lost sleep tonight. I'm just sitting here chatting with my girl Jade....meaning my friend jade.....here's a sample of the insomniac chat:
bbeastieboyfan88 (2:43:02 AM): so you're just sittin up doin nothing, huh?
Jadeth73 (2:43:10 AM): pretty mcuh
bbeastieboyfan88 (2:43:12 AM): is your roommate asleep, like mine is?
Jadeth73 (2:43:24 AM): of course, she goes to sleep soooo early
bbeastieboyfan88 (2:43:35 AM): no doubt
bbeastieboyfan88 (2:43:39 AM): so does mine
bbeastieboyfan88 (2:44:05 AM): back when I lived with craig, we were up soo late every night
Jadeth73 (2:45:14 AM): hehe, I can see how that would happen
bbeastieboyfan88 (2:45:28 AM): no doubt
Jadeth73 (2:46:02 AM): lol
pretty insane, huh? Yea....i'm pretty bored, but lying in bed thinking about random stuff is by far worse than mindlessly chatting with someone. BOOOOYAAAA GRANDMA!!! Ha....that reminds me of 10th grade, the Hawaii...it was like our phrase that we said oover and oooover and oooooooover again.....hmmm....yea that was fun....fun untill we had "Spare Change" wars in our hotel room and I got hit just above the eye with a frickin quarter. Yea....that hurt like a banshee........ok.....enough of this post....I may actually go to bed soon.
bbeastieboyfan88 (2:54:08 AM): I thought someone mentioned something about someone sometime...but I think i was wrong
Jadeth73 (2:54:23 AM): explain?
Jadeth73 (2:56:04 AM): ??\
bbeastieboyfan88 (2:56:19 AM): oh nothing
Jadeth73 (2:56:24 AM): you're a pud
bbeastieboyfan88 (2:56:31 AM): a pud, huh?
bbeastieboyfan88 (2:56:45 AM): at least I ain't a dup like you are

wowzas....I just met with a girl for an hour to prepare for our French Oral Test. We were gellin, I must say......so thats pretty cool. k, time to read Othello!