I've always said that drinking by yourself is a bad thing. Unfortunately, I've had to do just that over the past few days. Thursday night I only drank a six pack, but I think because I was in a bad state of mind and agitated by a talk with Meredith, it made me a whole lot drunker than it should've. I passed out at 10. Really bad, I know. Last night I didn't drink that much because I was working on a project, but I did drink by myself again. Today once again I had to drink alone because I was working on multitple projects and was getting bored. So a drank a little to spice my night up a bit. Again, not the best idea but I had too much crap to do so I couldn't go out and have fun. Stinky, yes, but I can only procrastinate so long. Eventually I had to buckle down.
So right now I'm having a difficult girl problem. I became rather interested with this girl while I have been out here. For a while I thought for sure I would have a chance of having some sort of future with her.....but with each day passing by I can feel her slipping away. I wish I could be around her all the time to make sure she doesn't make a huge mistake. Even though everyone is telling her the same thing, she still doesn't really listen. It's like she hears me saying things to her, but she doesn't listen to me. I thought she did for a long time, but I really don't think she does anymore. And I'm worried about losing her forever.....and I've told her this....but I dunno. I saw one path being the right one for her for nearly a year. When that path ended up being wrong she tried to leave it, but for some reason is sticking to it. I know she's in charge of her own life and really, in the grand scheme of things, I shouldn't have a say in anything, but I feel like she's being tricked into something that isn't real. She deserves to be treated like a Queen from the moment she starts dating any given guy. And she wasn't. Even now, from what I understand, she isn't. So many guys would treat her the way she should be treated, but for some reason she can't see that. It's frustrating. And I'm not sure what I should do.
And that is random....but I'm listen to A Tribe Called Quest and, for some reason, they bring that out in me. Strange.
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