Tonight was interesting, to say the least. It definitly had highs and lows....I'm not going to discuss the most significant one, sorry to be vague. The low part of tonight was my Jazz Band audition. It was literally the WORST audition of my life. For trombone or voice, this one most definitly won. I did pretty much everything wrong. I began with scales and it all went down from there. I began with an A(flat) scale (2 octaves) and ended up two notes too early. I didn't realize this until the next scale. The last scale, D, (also two octaves) I couldn't play the last couple of notes mostly because they were super high, but also because I was pissed off at myself. Then, I played a horrible, terrible, God-awful chromatic scale. At this point I was so shaken up and mad and disappointed, that I played poorly just for those reasons. No wait, let me take that back, I actually played the audition piece moderatly well....except it was supposed to be 2 pages long and I only had 1 page.....which makes it tough to play the piece. So then I had to end with sight-reading. Sight-reading is pretty much everybody's enemy...but even more so for Jazz because of the nasty rhythms. So I played this thing like a beginner trombonist. Litterally. It started out bad and then I got screwed up on some counting stuff and then stumbled along for several more measures, but when I held a whole note (in 4/4 time) for 6 beats and then skipped a couple of notes, missed a few rests and then played some wrong notes.....I just stopped. I didn't finish the piece. I just stopped. I stopped and said "Yea....I'm just going to be done now." The director didn't really want me to stop and even offered me a second chance. But you know what? After all of that I was soooo bummed out and pissed off and just sad....that there was no way that I would play it at all better. It would've been worse. I just wanted to get out of that room as soon as possible. I guess I wish I would've at least finished the piece, but my mouth was so dry and I was so very.....so very done. I was just done. I couldn't keep going anymore. As soon as I left the dude's office, I crumpled my music and threw it away....and then went on a long, long scooter ride around campus. It wouldn't have been quite as bad if my spirit hadn't already been crushed one week ago today when I tried out for Concert Band and got wasted by the freshmen class. I just couldn't take two auditions like that within a week...I'm just way bummed out tonight.........I feel like crap.